The food court where she waited didn't have a sushi bar or a place for organic food. The names above the stalls were Sbarro and Chick Filet.She decided the polite term for the place was "earthy."She adjusted the hem of her skirt and tried to ignore the stares of the boys and the glares from the girls at adjacent tables.She had wanted to wear something casual for the date. She didn't expect Andy to show up in a sports coat and tie. But as she looked through her closet, she realized that even her casual clothing was ridiculously expensive.She settled on a black skirt and a white sleeveless pullover. The skirt had cost $190 and the shirt was $120. Her strappy black heels had cost $150. Even the bra and panty set she wore beneath her clothing had set her back $110. She found that she didn't own any jeans that didn't have a designer tag and all of her shorts and shirts came from fashion houses. She was embarrassed to sit at the mall surrounded by girls in cutoff blue jean shorts and crop. ." Wait...if the first personI'd seen was male? But I'm not attracted to men! I'm straight, I've beena man all my life, I was married!"She leaned back in her chair, carefully crossing her legs. I tried notto look at how she moved. "Straight might not mean so much anymore. Anddoes it really matter who Hamilton Carver slept with, now that HannahCarver is ready to start her new life?"Breathe. Just breathe."Did you have to deal with this? Is this going to happen every time Italk to someone?"She shook her head. "You'll get used to it, it's just really strong atfirst. But tell me...I know it's new and unexpected, but is it reallythat bad? To feel that kind of excitement?"I walked across the room, away from her, closing my eyes, listening tomy blood rushing in my ears.I could have her. The thought came unbidden, striking to my soul. Icould have her. Her touch, her attention, she could take this feelingthat pounded through my veins and turn it into joy, pleasure, wantonfulfillment of feelings.
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